


Stationary Catharisis

by Thatzly



Series: Stationary Catharisis [1]
Category: Ouran High School Host Club
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Depression, Friendship, Gen, Paralysis, Recovery, Sibling Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-31
Updated: 2012-01-31
Packaged: 2017-10-30 09:45:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/330377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatzly/pseuds/Thatzly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don't worry, keep moving forward, and hopefully things will be better in the end. Kaoru is involved in an accident during a race between clubs, and he is forced to adapt to a new lifestyle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stationary Catharisis

It was that stupid race with Kyouya's rival Kuze that started this mess into motion. Or, maybe it was because the club just _had_ to have the Central Parlor for the school festival. Either way, it ended in a way none of the club members ever imagined possible.

They were in the fourth challenge now and it was Hikaru and Kaoru's turn to step up and take the responsibility of the club's fate into their hands.

"Matching paintings?" Hikaru questioned with a yawn. "Too easy."

"It's the basketball part I'm concerned about." Kaoru admitted, looking to his twin.

Neither of them were professional athletes, but they weren't completely inept. It looked as though with their luck they were paired with two boys from the Basketball Club however.

"Don't worry about it." Hikaru spoke wrapping an arm around Kaoru's shoulder and leaning on him.

The wind blew harshly rocking the board above the two teams violently. Kaoru heard Hikaru tsk beside him.

"Whoever made this course didn't use good materials."

"Probably took a hint from Haruhi and decided to be cheap," Kaoru added.

Haruhi could be heard grumbling beside them.

"Ah! Haruhi!" They smiled, hugging the poor girl.

"Senpai decided that since I couldn't see well I should join you two." That must be why she looked so disgruntled.

"Aww, because you're so short." Hikaru taunted. Kaoru hid behind his hand, laughing at the brunette's expense.

"Begin!"

Both boys scanned over the large board towering over them that displayed a plethora of artists and painting names.

Kaoru sucked in a breath. "There."

"A-1 and D-5!" The twins shout.

"Correct! Free throw awarded to the Host Club!" The announcer cried with excitement.

Kaoru grabbed a ball, bouncing it a few times before making eye contact with his target.

"Kaoru!" He turned. Hikaru flashed him a thumbs up.

Turning back, he raised his arms and with a jump let the ball fly. It bounced off the back and into the net.

"Yay, Kao-chan!" Hunny cheered. Kaoru grinned stupidly and jogged back over to Hikaru. Two more shots and they could move on.

"B-2 and C-4!" The opposing team called. Hikaru and Kaoru scowled at them, watching with distaste as the made their free throw. It bounced off the rim to hit the large game board causing it to shake with the force.

Kaoru moved forward, trying to get a better view of the names and paintings. The other team must have gotten the same idea, as they stood close to him whispering their suggestions to each other.

He spotted a match, but when he turned back he saw a look of pure terror on Hikaru's face. His brother's hand was on Haruhi's arm pulling her back, and it looked as though he was about to make his way over to him if it hadn't been for Tamaki holding him back.

That was the last thing he saw before waking up on the ground.

"Kaoru!" Frightened screams surrounded the half dazed twin, but none could compare to that of Hikaru. His voice rang louder than anyone else. He sounded terrified and as if he were crying.

Kaoru groggily opened his eyes, blinking to adjust to the light. The first thing he noticed was the weight on his back, cutting into him and pressing his face into the stone paved ground. Next, was that hands were desperately trying to uncover him from the wreckage. Last, was that with how he was wedged flat on his stomach with whatever they used to make that damn board on top of him, he had limited mobility of his arms. Kaoru squirmed lightly, wincing when the board only managed to slip further on top of him.

"Be brave, everyone!" He nearly chuckled at their worry for him, but instead a sob broke free.

It hurt, and for whatever reason his legs and arms tingled strangely. Probably falling asleep from the pressure on top of them, but still it only added to his fear. He would never laugh at someone who was claustrophobic again.

"Hikaru! Help!" His sobs grew in intensity as the situation began to fully dawn on him. "Hikaru!" He knew there was nothing Hikaru could do, but his name rolling off his tongue made him feel just a tiny bit better.

"Hi-Hikaru-kun?" Kaoru blinked, then turned to his side. Not too far from him a member of student council laid, a camera crushed next to him. "I…I think we're going to be okay." The boy's voice was shaky, a failed attempt to calm both himself and his new freshman friend. "I think I can hear sirens. We'll be fine." The student's bleeding head made him unsure however. The younger twin could only give a weak smile.

Kaoru's head jerked to the side at the sound of a moan. He could barely make out a tuft of female hair behind a cracked piece of wood. Kaoru sighed. At least he wasn't in this alone.

Within moments, a group of loud voices and machines closed in on the injured group, and finally the sky was revealed and the debris was shuffled away. The student council member was the first to struggle onto wobbly feet, then more followed to be seen by the medical staff. Kaoru however laid still, no longer paying attention to those around him.

There was nothing covering him anymore, right? So then, why was it that he could only convince his fingers to twitch? His whole body felt numb. Maybe it was just the pain of his back, but then again the strange tingle overpowered that pain. Neither leg nor arms seemed to want to respond to even the simplest demands to bend, twitch, do something. The realization hit him, hard. But, he didn't scream, and he didn't cry, he just lay on the cool ground, almost too calm for the situation.

"Look! It's Kao-chan!" His lips twitched into a tearful smile. Hani-sempai was always cheerful no matter what.

The club group ran over, crowding around Kaoru's form.

"Kaoru!" Hikaru smiled down at him, his face red from crying. "What are you doing? They're taking care of the minor injuries over there." He pointed somewhere behind him, then turned back. "If you keep laying here they're going to think you're really injured."

"Hikaru..." His voice came out much weaker than he expected it to be. Shock turned to fear, and within seconds Kaoru became a snotty, tearful mess before his friends. "I can't…I can't move. Everything feels weird and I can't move. Hikaru, I'm scared."

Hikaru's eyes widened. He reached down to lay a gentle hand on his brother's back. "What? What do you mean you can't move?"

"Don't move him, Hikaru." Kyouya pushed his glasses up on his face, and turned away from the group to flag down a paramedic. It didn't take long for Kaoru to be sent to the hospital to receive his grim diagnosis.

A compacted spine, paralyzed from the waist down. Indefinite as to if he would ever walk again.

* * *

"That's a really hard question, let me answer that for you."

Kaoru glanced up at Hikaru. He really had been trying to swallow his annoyance, but his brother's over concerned gestures were starting to push his patience. "I'm physically handicapped, Hikaru, not mentally."

Hikaru frowned. "I know. It's just you've missed a lot of school. I only wanted to help…"

Three months lost to be exact. Three months of rehabilitation and learning how to get around in a metal cage on wheels. The younger twin sighed, setting his pencil aside. Maybe he should have kept biting his tongue, now Hikaru looked almost ashamed of himself.

Although he could answer the equation on his own, he beckoned Hikaru closer. "Sorry, you're right. This is actually a hard question. Can you help me?" His brother's face brightened once more, and soon he was lost in explanation. Fingers pointed here and there, and his paper grew covered in scribbles of numbers. But Kaoru tuned it all out, looking to a distant place in thought.

After the accident he was brought to the hospital with only the ability to turn his head and talk. Luckily, the tingle he felt in his arms he felt during the incident disappeared, and within just a few days they were as mobile as before. His lower body strength however never returned, he learned this the hard way after Hikaru convinced him he should at least try to walk again. He had been stupid enough to follow along. He'd crushed both of their hopes that day when he found himself in his brother's arms after nearly crashing to the floor.

"Do you need to use the bathroom?" Kaoru blinked, wondering why his brother would ask such a question. Then, he realized his line of vision had settled on the bathroom door during his daze.

"No, I'm fine," he reassured. Hikaru didn't look convinced.

"The last time you said that…"

Kaoru blushed. "I mean it this time. I was just thinking is all."

"If you make another mess I'm not cleaning it up this time." Hikaru grumbled.

"I'm sorry if I'm becoming a burden."

His brother jumped. "That's not what I mean and you know it! I mean it is a bit tiring…" he admitted slowly. "But I'm not going to just abandon you, you're my brother!"

Kaoru smiled, leaning his head on a propped up hand. "That doesn't mean anything, Hikaru."

"Stop being a dunce and listen to me when I'm explaining the homework."

The scolded boy nodded, and stared down at the homework, finally taking in the help his brother was trying to offer. It was only minutes later that he spoke up sheepishly. "Hikaru…I think that I may need to go after all…"

He was met with a glare. "Kaoru…"

"Now, Hikaru." He rushed. That was all Hikaru needed to spring into action.

"Hold it."

"You know I cant!"

"If you had just gone when I asked—"

"Now is not the time." Kaoru growled, holding onto Hikaru's shoulders as he was lifted. He froze, realizing the pressure on his bladder had disappeared. He himself couldn't feel the dampness of his clothes, but he knew Hikaru could, and both could see the puddle forming on the floor. "Sorry, I'm so sorry."

Hikaru sighed. "It's not a big deal. Stay here for a little. I need to get you dry clothes."

Kaoru remained silent, eyes cast down to the floor.

"Kaoru?" Hikaru tried, his voice soft. "It's not your fault. They said it would take some time, right?" Silence. Giving up, Hikaru left to let his brother sit and wait for his return.

* * *

"When is Kaoru coming back to school?" Brown eyes looked up to him, curious.

Hikaru scratched his head. Kaoru was adapting but it would still probably take a little bit longer. He grimaced, especially after last night's incident. Kaoru had gone two weeks without an accident, and now that his streak was gone all the confidence he'd re-built went with it. He was sure Kaoru wasn't even considering school at this point.

"I don't think he's ready yet." Haruhi seemed upset by his answer. She fiddled with her fork, thinking over his words. "He's just not ready to come back and have to depend on everyone. He hates it enough when I just grab something for him. I think he wants to come back when he feels he can do things on his own."

"He shouldn't be so worried about things like that. I'm sure no one would mind."

"He cares about it a lot."

"He's becoming just as stubborn as you." Haruhi groaned.

"What's that supposed to mean," Hikaru laughed, pulling the girl into a weak headlock. She seemed unnerved.

The girl continued her train of thought. "But then again you've both been stubborn to an extent, he's just showing it more now." She looked up at him. "I want to come over after school."

Hikaru let her go in surprise. "Really!" She almost regretted her decision when the ecstatic grin formed on his face. Something no good was bound to happen. "Only if you cook something for me and Kaoru!"

"Whatever." She turned back to her obento.

"Wait until I tell Tono about this." Haruhi stiffened.

"Don't do that."

"You're right. He'd have the whole club come over and then you'd never cook for us."

Haruhi grumbled. "I shouldn't even have to cook for you. You have maids for that."

Turning serious, Hikaru gave her an appreciative smile. "Kaoru will really like seeing you."

"I hope so. I'm looking forward to seeing how much he's improved."

* * *

Kaoru stared up at the bookcase, face curled in a disgusted frown. What had he been thinking when he put that book on the highest shelf? Well, it was the highest but from his height now it seemed impossibly far away, and he had been able-bodied when he'd stored the damn thing. The twin cursed, rolling himself until his wheels bumped against the tall piece of furniture.

He needed to finish _that_ book, not the one's in his reach. He'd already gone through most of the good one's while he was sitting in bed recovering. Now, he wanted the one he'd never had the guts to try and get. There was a high failure percentage, but he would ignore that. Or, he looked to a button that would alert the maids, he could get one of them to get it. That would look pathetic.

Stretching out his hand he reached as far as his arm length would allow, he came up short. His frown deepened, and this time he used his other free arm to grab onto a lower shelf to hoist himself a little higher. Almost, he could just barely touch the bottom of his prize.

Looking down, Kaoru analyzed the situation. If he could climb up just a bit higher he could grab the top of the book and flop safely back down into his chair. But, the higher he went the more painful it would be if he fell. Kaoru opted to ignore the latter and pulled himself up another rung on the shelf. A stupid grin spread on his face. He had it.

The shelf below him shook, and with a scream Kaoru tumbled down along with the many books on the fallen shelf. He groaned in pain and held the book he'd suffered for close to his body. There'd be bruises in the morning but Kaoru was too ecstatic to care. To him this was only half a fail, one more step to becoming independent again.

It wasn't until he noticed the new position of his chair across the room did his high die.

"H-How!" He nearly slapped himself in frustration. He'd forgotten to turn on the brakes. "Perfect…" Now he would have to crawl half way across the room.

The twin glared down at his legs, and with as much energy as he could muster tried to move his legs. His face grew red with exertion that was all for naught. But, he could've sworn he saw just the slightest twitch of his left foot. That could also be a trick his mind was playing on him.

Kaoru sprawled himself out and lightly hit his head repeatedly on the cold floor. He was too tired for this shit, but he might as well start his journey. Thrusting his arms out in front of him he pulled himself forward in a slow crawl, his useless legs dragging behind him.

"Kaoru?" Said twin looked up to see the surprised look on his brother's face. He cut him off before he could question further.

"I'm fine, just made a stupid mistake." With that he turned back forward and continued. Half way there.

"Is he okay?"

Hikaru answered. "He says he is but…"

Kaoru stopped all movement and looked up at the new voice. "Haruhi!" he smiled, but realizing how he must look quickly looked away. A blush crept up his face and spread to his ears. "I'm fine. I just fell…"

"And made a mess of the bookshelf." Hikaru laughed. He made his way over to the crawling boy and scooped him up, his younger brother complaining the entire way over to the wheelchair.

"I was almost there, Hikaru. I could've made it myself."

"Yeah, but then I'd have to keep watching you struggle. Plus, you were nowhere near it."

"Yes I was!" Kaoru argued, pouting.

"It would've taken you all day and then Haruhi would have no time to cook for us."

Kaoru shut up after that and a devious smile replaced his pouting face. "She's cooking for us?"

"It was a condition. I couldn't come visit you unless I cooked." Haruhi grumbled.

"Really?" Kaoru sang. He looked up at his brother, a twinkle in his eyes. "Then I'll give you a list of what I want to eat."

"Ah…I don't think that's necessary…" Haruhi groaned.

They decided on cake after much arguing and whining amongst the three of them. It was Haruhi setting her foot down and threatening to leave if they didn't be realistic that brought the argument to a quick close.

"Ne, Haruhi. Why is it taking so long to prepare this stuff?" Hikaru whined.

Haruhi rolled her eyes, and pour the batter into the pan they'd offered her. "We're almost done. Can't you two be a little more patient?"

"What does that word mean?" Kaoru joked. Haruhi rolled her eyes.

"There. We can put it in the oven now."

Kaoru stared at the pan, then to Haruhi. He bit his lip briefly then spoke up timidly. "Hey, Haruhi?" The girl turned her attention to the boy. "Can I put it in the oven?" Realizing his question was finally in the open he made haste to back himself up. "I promise I'll be careful and if you open the oven door for me there'll be less risk of the tray slipping, but I understand if you don't want to risk it."

Wordlessly, Haruhi passed the pan to Kaoru, who immediately secured it in his lap before wheeling himself carefully to the machine. He paused a few times, worried the thick substance might spill.

Hikaru was the one to open the door for him, and Kaoru nearly shrank back at the heat. He'd dealt with an oven a handful of times in his life, but it was a completely different experience when you were on the same level as the heat waves pouring from the device. Recovering from the oven, Kaoru slowly slid the tray in with a smile on his face and shut the door.

Yet another accomplishment to add to his list.

"Never tried to balance liquid and move at the same time." Kaoru told himself. "That was easier than I thought."

The two standing above him turned silent gazes on each other.

"O-Oh yeah. I'll be back, Kaoru." Hikaru rubbed the back of his head, laughing nervously. "I forgot something upstairs!"

Before Kaoru could question his outburst, Hikaru had raced from the kitchen, slamming the door shut behind him. Kaoru sighed. Really, Hikaru was way too obvious.

"I'm guessing you wanted to talk to me in private," Kaoru prodded, pushing himself over to a kitchen table so Haruhi could have a seat.

Haruhi let out a sigh of her own. "What an idiot. He didn't have to leave like that." Grabbing a seat, she sat so she was eye level with the younger twin. "How are you adapting?"

Kaoru smiled softly. He knew it would be something like this. He wondered if Hikaru had talked her into it, or if she'd come up with this idea on her own. Knowing Haruhi, it was probably a mixture of both.

"I'm adapting." Kaoru answered cryptically.

Haruhi hummed in response. Not looking too pleased with the answer she'd been given.

"I appreciate your concern, Haruhi, but please tell everyone to stop worrying about me." Kaoru rolled over to the oven and looked in at the baking cake, anything to distract him from her stare. "I'm…adapting," he repeat.

Haruhi snuck behind him, resting a hesitant hand on his back. Kaoru glanced up. "We want you to come back to school with us."

Kaoru shook his head. "I can't. Not yet." He looked down to his legs then closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He wouldn't let this get to him. Don't let her wear you down. "It's too embarrassing."

"The accident?"

Kaoru slapped a hand over his mouth to hold back his laughter. Even when she was trying to be helpful she was still so dense.

"N-No, not the accident." Kaoru thought for a second before editing himself. "Well maybe a little…I guess being seen like I am now _is_ something that's holding me back."

Haruhi grabbed a hold of Kaoru's wheelchair and steered them both back to the table to sit. Kaoru frowned, but made no move to show his displeasure at what she'd done.

"It's more like I don't want to go back when right now all I am is a useless invalid." Haruhi's face grew clouded in thought at his statement, but she remained silent and Kaoru took that as a hint to go on. "How can I go back when I can't control myself or even do simple tasks? And I can't even imagine the effect on Hikaru. He'd probably be embarrassed to even be seen with me. We're not the same anymore. There's a huge difference in who we are now. I—"

"Stop." Kaoru's mouth snapped shut. "Have you been putting yourself down like this the entire time you've been recovering? Because I can tell you now that saying things like that to yourself is only holding you back."

"But Haruhi—"

"Stop, Kaoru. You're not an invalid, you're not incapable of doing the things you used to, and I'm sure if Hikaru heard what you said about him he'd be hurt." Haruhi's dark eyes bore into Kaoru's with intensity. "You should be ashamed of how you've been thinking, not of who you are."

Kaoru took a sharp intake of breath, and hid his face in his hands. Haruhi laid a comforting hand on his shoulder as she watched the tears roll down her friend's cheek.

"So," Haruhi smiled. "Tell me something good. Nothing negative."

"I-I don't know." Kaoru sniffed.

"I'm sure you have something."

Kaoru closed his eyes, straining himself to find something, anything good that he'd experienced since the accident. He smiled, reminiscing.

"Hikaru…" Haruhi's head tilted in confusion, but she waited as he gathered his thoughts. "A week ago he decided to pretend he couldn't use his legs. He couldn't even steer my chair right, he kept going in circles and running into things."

"It must've been fun to watch." Haruhi stated, prompting him to continue.

Kaoru nodded, chuckling through his tears. "Yeah…he wants to have a race when he learns to get around in it better." The twin looked to Haruhi, smirking. "Who do you think will win?"

Haruhi tapped her chin in thought. "I don't know. It depends on arm strength. But I'm sure by then you'll have more experience."

"Hey! Just because he has more experience doesn't mean he'll win." The two teens looked up to see Hikaru standing in the doorway, his eyes were red and his face shone with tears he'd forgotten to wipe off before making his entrance.

"I'm Haruhi's favorite," Kaoru stuck his tongue out, taunting Hikaru. He turned back to Haruhi, grinning. "You'll come watch?"

"As long as I don't have to cook for you two again."

Both boys looked to each other then turned to Haruhi. "Deal!"

* * *

Taking Haruhi's advice, Kaoru began to take matters into his own hands. He'd first started with little things such as insisting he could change his clothes fine on his own, despite listening to Hikaru give commentary on how painful it was to watch him struggle with his pants. Then, he moved up to attempting his bathroom routine by himself, for the most part. Hikaru insisted he be there to watch just in case he slipped in the tub or somehow fell into the toilet.

Now, he'd taken one of his first trips out of the mansion since his new life began. He sat outside the school, pondering on if he actually wanted to go in. It wasn't as if the school wasn't wheelchair friendly (although now that he thought about it he would have to take longer routes to his classes) but he didn't want to run into Hikaru. He would kill him if he wandered out of club and saw his brother rolling around by himself.

Kaoru sighed, but began his journey inside anyway. The homework Hikaru gave him was finished and now he needed to get the second half. Before he arrived he spent most of his time convincing himself that he only needed to go to the school for the sake of having something productive to do later on. The reality dawned on him once he entered the familiar halls however.

Being here was the last step. If he could get around the school after hours he could handle it while it was in session.

"Aww look at the little cripple. Isn't he cute rolling around like that?" Kaoru stopped in his tracks, not bothering to turn his chair around until he heard a second voice and three sets of footsteps creep up behind him.

"That's the exact thing my girlfriend's been spouting to her friends behind my back." A boy answered. "I'd say it's more pathetic than cute."

"Yeah, because he can't do a thing when I do this." Without warning the leader of the pack sidestepped around Kaoru's chair, grabbed the handles and whizzed down the hall. The brute's two friends ran behind him giggling like schoolgirls as they did so.

"Let me go!" Kaoru growled. "If you think picking on a disabled kid is going to grant you points with your girl friend you're delusional." This at least got the kid to slow down. "If she's fawning over me then she's probably thinking of leaving you soon anyway."

Wrong thing to say.

The two picked up speed. "I think we should see if you still know how to swim." The boy sneered.

Kaoru blanched. Swim? How would he swim without his legs? Panic began to bubble in the pit of his stomach. He felt like he was going to be sick.

"You can't be serious." The three boys rolled Kaoru in, and in an instant he was hit with the smell of pool water. The reality of what was about to happen terrified him. He hadn't even realized how his fingers had his armrests in a white-knuckled grip. "You're not really going to…" Kaoru's voice shook, but he tried to seem at least somewhat composed. "If I die you'll go to jail."

"You won't die." Kaoru was rolled closer to the pool water until he was on the very edge. His heart sped, eyes widening with fear. The boy leaned down to whisper in his ear maliciously. "You _can_ swim right?"

"Don't—" With a laugh the leader shoved the younger twin, wheelchair and all, into the pool.

* * *

"Oh my God! Do you see him? This is hilarious!"

Tamaki paused. He'd been told to go retrieve the remaining items for the Host Club event, but he couldn't help but eavesdrop, it was in his nature. He would only listen for a little, Kyouya wouldn't know the difference in time.

"I should've brought my camera." The malicious tone turned to one of a mother cooing to a baby. "Come on the ladder's right here, you can make it."

Something wasn't right about this. He looked up at the sign. The pool. He didn't think anyone was scheduled to use it today. Stepping in, he noticed three boys huddled around one end of the pool, and the sound of frantic splashing.

"I wonder how long he'll last."

"Who knows? You gonna dive in when he gives up?"

"Hell no."

A groan. "Man, does that mean I have to…"

"Is this how one treats their fellow man? Bullying is one of the lowest things you could do to a fellow classmate." Tamaki sauntered forward and the three boys turned around. "This poor child has probably done nothing to deserve such—"

The host king's blood ran cold. "Kaoru?"

In the pool the younger twin coughed and sputtered, just barely able to use his arms to push his head above the surface. "He—" His head dunked under swallowing his words. He rose, gasping for air. "Help! I-I can't—"

Now set on automatic, Tamaki dove in grabbing Kaoru around his waist to hoist him above water. He tread, looking from the gasping twin, to the laughing trio standing safe at the pool's edge. Unspeaking, he swam to the ladder with the twin grasping onto him tightly and lifted them up and onto solid ground.

Tamaki sat silent, clutching onto Kaoru in shock. They'd really…They really threw him in. He couldn't walk and they threw him in.

"Kaoru are you okay?" Tamaki's voice was soft with concern for his gasping friend. It wasn't until Kaoru, with chattering teeth, nodded that he turned onto the perpetrators. "Where is his chair?"

"How the hell should we know where the cripple left it?" A boy, most likely the leader, asked as he stepped forward.

"Where is his chair?" Tamaki's voice grew sterner, impatient.

Kaoru spoke up, stuttering an answer. "I-In the p-pool."

"Leave. You'll be hearing about this later." Tamaki walked past them to stare down into the pool's depths. Indeed the chair was on the bottom. At least it was in the shallower end.

"There's only one of you that can take us on. Do you really think it'll take much to get you to stay quiet?"

Tamaki turned, and gave the leader a question of his own. "Do you really think it's a smart idea to lay your hands on the Headmaster's son or his friends?"

The group blanched, apparently unaware of the extent of what they'd done. In a flash the boys stumbled from the room and out of sight.

"Please don't tell Hikaru…" Kaoru's sniffed, his eyes red from crying. The tears mixed with the chlorinated water soaking his clothes and body. "He doesn't know I'm here. If I get home before him I can pretend this never happened."

The blonde shook his head. "I can't lie to him about this. The club needs to know so we can watch out for people who want to hurt you."

"Please…he'll never forgive himself if he finds out." The older boy knelt beside Kaoru and ruffled the twin's hair.

"I'm sorry."

Kaoru bat his hand away roughly. "Don't tell me you're sorry!"

Tamaki stood, turning a sad smile on him. "I'll be back. I'm going to need help getting your chair out."

Kaoru's face turned to one of terror. "Wait…don't go get the club. I can help you. I—" It was impossible and he knew it. "Can't you at least get someone from the hall instead?"

"I'll be back, Kaoru." And with that the upperclassman disappeared down the hall. Kaoru lay on his back, closing his eyes as he wait.

He knew exactly when the host club arrived. The stampede of feet alerted him more so than the frantic screaming of his brother. Next thing he knew he was enveloped in a crushing hug.

"Kaoru…what the hell were you doing here?" Hikaru's eyes were wild with fear as he looked on at his baby brother. But while he knew Hikaru was mainly worried, he could pick up on the hint of anger in his voice.

Kaoru turned to the side to avoid the piercing gaze. His face grew red in embarrassment. "I was going to get the rest of the homework I missed."

"I could've gotten that for you!"

"Well I'm sorry I wanted to try to do something on my own." Kaoru snapped. Finally his patience had broken.

Hikaru sputtered, but then tried to reason with him. "You can't do things like that on your own anymore! Look what happened. I wasn't here and you nearly drowned. You need help."

"How do you know that? No one even lets me try." Kaoru clenched his fists, shaking no longer from the cold, but from anger. "I'm tired of it. I'm tired of all of this. I don't want to have to rely on you or a chair. I want my legs back!" He turned a sour face onto Kyouya and Tamaki. "And if it hadn't been for your stupid idea to enter that race I wouldn't even be in this situation."

"Kao-chan…" Hunny whimpered.

"Shut up! Please just stop…I'm not a child. I know I'm overreacting but how else am I supposed to feel? I'm helpless. I can't do anything for myself anymore and I'll probably be living as someone else's burden for the rest of my life." Kaoru's voice cracked, and he buried his face in his hands. "I want to go home…"

Hikaru nodded numbly. "Okay." He turned to the rest of the club. "Just drop the chair off at our house. I can carry him."

Kaoru's arms snaked around Hikaru's neck and held on tight as his brother stood to wrap Kaoru's legs around his body. He buried his face into Hikaru's dry clothes, waiting until the club was out of sight before revealing himself again.

"I shouldn't have said any of that. I'm sorry."

Hikaru glanced back at Kaoru briefly. "I think Kyouya and Tamaki need to hear that more than me." He paused. "I'm sorry too. I'll try to let you do more from now on."

Kaoru nodded. "Love you."

"Yeah."

"Hikaru…" Kaoru's fingers dug into his brother's shoulders.

"I love you too, Kaoru. It's just…What they did to you and what you said really hurt." Hikaru stopped walking, instead opting to seat Kaoru and himself at a nearby bench in the courtyard. "You'll never be a burden to me. How many times do I have to say that?"

"Don't lie to me, Hikaru."

"I'm not lying!" Hikaru's scream echoed throughout the courtyard. "Will you just believe me? I-I don't know how to convince you. I'll take care of you for as long as you need me. I may complain sometimes, Kaoru, but that doesn't mean anything."

Kaoru slid his hand into Hikaru's, and both boys sat mulling over the recent events.

Hikaru was the one who broke the silence. "I wish it had been me."

Kaoru's grip grew slack, and his head snapped to look at the grim face of his twin.

"I keep having dreams about what it would have been like if it were me stuck under that board instead of you. Then I'm in your chair, rolling around, miserable. Those days when I have dreams like that and see you struggling, it always hurts so much more. I want things to go back to normal too…"

Kaoru swallowed thickly, willing himself not to cry for the umpteenth time that day. He never really thought much about what emotions Hikaru may have been dealing with other than that of annoyance. But, now after seeing and hearing all of this he felt ashamed of himself. This entire time Hikaru hadn't been suffering because he had to take care of Kaoru, it was because he was dealing with the loss too.

"Hey, do you think time machines could ever really exist?"

The youngest twin stared at his brother in awe before breaking into a fit of laughter. "Hi-Hikaru I don't think so. Maybe in the far future."

"We can wait until then." Hikaru smiled. "Then we'll just come back and make sure you stand in a different place when the board falls."

"But then we'd have to go through school all over again."

Hikaru grabbed Kaoru's hand once more, leaning back to look at the sky in thought. "It'd be worth it."


End file.
